Missing: Cute Pink Phone! Reward Offered!

In news this week, i had my first encounter with the crime filled streets on the UK.. I was out on Thursday for a spot of dinner, in a Whetherspoons (i suppose i have no one to blame but myself for that..) The result of what seemed like an innocent evening partaking in Thurday's 'Curry Club', ended in the removal of my beloved pink phone and wallet from my bag! Who could have guessed? (Apart from 'Known theives operate in this area' sign on the front door.. Well if theyre bloody KNOWN why don't they do something??) So off Mary and i toddled to the nearest cop shop to report this most heinous crime against cute pink kawai technology. We were greeted by a 'gang of Asian youths' who were waiting for their friends to be released. They were so funny, only about 14 and thought they were the shit. They were of course sporting the international skanger haircut known across europe: separated meshes of hair gelled to the forehead; as well as the internatinal skanger uniform of footlocker type sport apparel and blinding white trainers. So anyway, me and Mary had the craic with the young cop-man who took all my details. It has to be said that we did partake in some mild flirtation with 'P.C. Fit', as he was later labelled. We were like kids asking him all sorts of questions, and i even managed to scam myself a cool little writing pad that says 'Metropolitan Police' on each page. 45 minutes later, no money, no phone, and facing harsh weather conditions, we took refuge in Don Quixotes little all night cafe for a nice mug of hotchoc. Of course, there's no hope of ever finding either items but i suppose we live and learn..What a night! Other than that, entering into a frightening zone of essay-presentation madness... I suppose they have to grind us down with work to in some way justify the cost of attending the LSE.. Bastards.. Right, back to the Essay Factory!
Ps.. What a poor weekend of Rugby.. Shame on Ireland and DAMN those English fools...